Collaboration is better when there’s room for confrontation.
It might be my Latin American upbringing, but I trust people more and feel closer to them when we can argue about things. Good arguments though. In good arguments you’re not trying to win, but rather actively trying to make your ideas, your thinking and your delivery better. I even think of that as its own thing, and I call it ‘idea sparring’.
Idea sparring is a part of the creative process where ideas and plans are stress tested, strengthened or abandoned before being submitted to decision. All in a safe environment.
The best teams I’ve worked in or with do this instinctively. They rehearse presentations. People take turns arguing for and against the same idea. They have pitch doctors. They discuss and question themselves. They speak passionately for and against the same ideas, and take in the points that have merit. They get somewhere no individual could have gotten by themselves. It’s amazing. But it can also be hard to do it right.
So I’ll be writing a series of short articles to make you better at idea sparring. This is probably my favourite module I teach as part of The Dojo, and it builds on a course I taught for a few years at Inseec that I called ‘Creating and presenting better arguments’.
Let’s start with the basics.
The three basic ground rules
1) Approach sparring as role play
If you’re the one bringing an idea to be sparred over, it’s easy to feel too attached to the material. That’ll get in the way of you learning as much as you can from the exercise. If you’re the one providing the resistance, or arguing against the idea, you might feel bad about poking holes at your colleague’s work.
For these reasons it’s better if both sides approach idea sparring sessions as role play. Get into character. For the idea owner, play the role of someone who’s less attached to the idea. For the partner (or partners), perform the role of the opponent. Allow yourself to question the idea now the way you believe it will be questioned later.
To learn even more, switch roles. If you came up with the idea, argue against it. Let your partner defend it.
2) Talk like you’re right, listen like you’re wrong
This goes hand-in-hand with the first rule. Whichever role you’re playing, keep switching your mindset. Whichever side you’re playing, show confidence when you speak. But when listening (and ffs, do listen) look for what or how what is being said is right.
It might not be right in content, but perhaps in tone or in principle. It might be right in how it portrays the mindset of your final audience. It might be right in how it reminds you of something only tangentially related that opens up a new idea for you.
3) Agree on the practice
For sparring to be most productive, you’ll do better by briefing your partner on what you’re trying to learn about. First explain these rules, get them to read this piece even.
Then, be clear on what you’re sparring over. Is the whole idea up for questioning? Are you specifically trying to find holes in the execution? Is it more about how you’re presenting it? Or maybe it’s about the specific person you need to convince and you’d like your partner to do their best to represent them?
And as a partner, perform as you’ve been requested to first, holding any other feedback you might have for after the session.
If you want to know more about idea sparring, you can follow me on LinkedIn for this and other subjects. If you want you’d like to know more about The Dojo training for you and your team, including our idea sparring module, just head here.